


heartbreak

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood and Gore, Detailed Injuries, Enemies to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mafia AU, Major character death - Freeform, Not A Happy Ending, Romance, Self-Harm, Violence, historical but not history accurate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 05:48:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16191335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Baekhyun knew sooner or later he had to choose between his position and his heart. The problem was that he knew his choice the moment he touched the soft skin of his enemy.





	heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kokris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kokris/gifts).



> the belated birthday present for the cutie pie, [Kokris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kokris/)! I hope that you’ll like it orz
> 
> So to anyone who give this mess a try, please make sure to check the tags once again before going into this! Beware of the major character death tag, I’m not even kidding, this is only angst, blood and heartbreak lmao. All the mistakes inside are my babies, if you can’t deal with them tell me where they are so that I can edit them. Otherwise, have fun!

Falling in love with Kim Jongin was probably one of the best things he had done but also one of the hardest ones too. Byun Baekhyun was a name that was holding a pride and fear, Byun, the short name Baekhyun was using to introduce himself before ending someone’s life was enough to make his enemy, already fallen on their knees in front of him, fear him even more. The cold mouth of the gun in the middle of their forehead, pushing until they cried and begged but Baekhyun knew no mercy and he was ending their life without even blinking.

 

He was pulling a white cloth from his pants, was wiping his face with it and then his gun, after this he was throwing away the dirtied cloth on the dead body and was leaving as calmly as he had walked in.

 

Baekhyun wasn’t the greatest man, he wasn’t even the leader of their gang but he was close enough to it. Many had told him that if their boss was like a cub, left alone in the middle of nowhere and he had to learn to survive on his own, then Baekhyun was a self-born predator taking everything down on his way.

 

Baekhyun never knew if he should be proud of these words or he had to fear them. He had never doubted his sanity neither did he wish to prove anyone wrong. But he had never minded the blood, the spat brain around him or the guts out of his victims, he didn’t mind sights as such and he certainly didn’t mind creating them. He was born around such sights, he hadn’t seen anything better than this.

 

He was living at the time where the sex and the slavery were the best options in order to live without a home and have money enough to survive. Bakehyun’s mother had died because she had opposed of Japanese soldier’s humiliating favors and he had murdered her. Baekhyun was born in his mother’s dirty room where she was selling her body and feeding him until he was fifteen and he could run away. Baekhyun was lucky that his mother had decided to keep him and he was even luckier to have a Korean father.

 

Pregnant women were an exotic type of sight for the soldiers, wider hips, softer thighs, more sensitive, tighter inside, many things that the men enjoyed and Baekhyun sometimes realized that maybe his mother had kept him because it meant more money left next to the food - dried bread with ants and salt - by her bed.

 

However, Baekhyun hadn’t thought of it much, he believed that his mother loved him and he wanted to help all the other young girls and boys that had been brought in as sex slaves. There were many people still outside of these houses and sickness, people who still lived as peacefully as they could under the Japanese rule but they were still on verge of falling down in hell too. One wrong move, one wrong deal, and one wrong look and they’d be gone and down in the bloody river.

 

Baekhyun was living close to the border and close to the war that lasted too long and he believed his soul had never existed. He had seen too much death and too much sickness for him to be normal. But when he ran further away, closer to the cities and had to fight to earn a little food and water, Baekhyun knew that there was a place for him. By the age of twenty, he had a name for himself, new clothes, two guns and men that were ready to take the bullet for him.

 

His boss liked him because of his pretty face and cruelty that came with it. Everyone feared him for as long as Baekhyun remembered. He wasn’t as tall as he wished but many were saying the size didn’t matter because the devil could be a child and no one would know. Baekhyun wished to agree. However, even the coldest most broken heart couldn’t resist the temptation of big brown eyes shining under the sunset light.

 

The Yakuza was one of the biggest problems at times, except running away from the nonexistent law. So fighting against small angry Japanese men who thought they were holding the world was something that Baekhyun had to deal with daily. He wasn’t tall himself, but he surely was big enough to smash a few heads with his boots.

 

His boss, though, he was fighting next to him but he was eager for more. He wanted to break the Yakuza or at least the man standing on the highest chair right now. Baekhyun was curious. His boss was just as heartless as him and even stronger and smarter, however, it was rare for the man to act fully on his emotions and be blinded by hatred. And since the curiosity won over him, Baekhyun dared to seek for answers. And the answer was enough to make his blood boil too.

 

The man sitting on the Yakuza’s throne was no other but a Korean man. Tall, older than Baekhyun’s boss but he was there, speaking Korean to his Korean army and Japanese to everyone else. It was a little unnerving. This man, still not following the laws and still having as much blood on his hands as Baekhyun and everyone else on his boss’ gang, was Korean going against the Koreans and even worse fighting against them, stealing from them, killing them.

 

The worst from all was that this man enjoyed it. He enjoyed hurting his own people, his own blood only to make the Japanese happy, to give him a peace that everyone sought. Baekhyun and his boss fought against the Japanese for the freedom they could never get. Not when they were so weak and pitiful. But they did fight and they did it well but knowing that one of their main enemies was someone who holds a name like theirs, blood and history as their own was indeed making the blood boil and Baekhyun now knew why his boss was losing his mind.

 

It was slightly unfortunate and highly surprising when Baekhyun realized he’d have another problem than fighting against someone who was supposed to be by their side. Baekhyun didn’t believe in love, or so he thought. He believed that the love meant distraction and useless emotions of the heart and the brain that could break a person. So Baekhyun wanted to live with the belief that he could live without it. He didn’t deny the sex, the primal act of desire and lust had been his favorite. He loved wrecking men and men wrecking him as long as they knew where they stood.

 

This was in what Baekhyun believed. He knew he’d never let his heart belong to anyone no matter how pretty they were and how sweet they seemed to taste. The problem was that Baekhyun had to expect it. Sooner or later his heart was going to betray him. And it was even worse when it did as if it was coming out of one of the stories Baekhyun’s late mother had told him while she was still alive.

 

The love of Baekhyun’s life was going to be his enemy. And not a simple enemy but the right hand of the Yakuza boss, his name was Kai and he was a man that Baekhyun had to admit he would give his life for.

 

If anyone asked, though, Byun Baekhyun would reply that his heart was too cold for love and thus why he had never given it to anyone. A lie Baekhyun could live with in front of the eyes of some strangers. A lie he couldn’t tell to himself.

 

Their first meeting was a funny one and highly frustrating. Since Kai, or Kim Jongin as Baekhyun learned later, was sent to take the life of Baekhyun and his men, they didn’t start on a good page. It was a good day, the sun and the sky were clear and Baekhyun had a good time too. This was it until a dozen men didn’t walk inside the old garage where Baekhyun was hanging out when he had nothing else to do.

 

It was a surprise how Baekhyun didn’t even notice to be followed back to the place he had been calling his home for close to two years. He didn’t know how he could have missed the man following his shadow like a mad dog starving for a bone. But he did so he and his men had to pay for it. It was only fortunate that Baekhyun for once didn’t get rid of his daggers and gun. It was only fortunate his men were close to their own because otherwise, no one would survive when Kai attacked.

 

Kim Jongin was a smart boy - the younger cousin who had grown in a bloodbath and with a cousin who wished to have a pretty killing weapon. Kai knew how to attack and how to use his face to confuse. The best of his weapons was that he spoke Korean and he had made a good use of it. Baekhyun’s men were used to fighting Japanese fuckers who could speak no Korean words. They were used to the Japanese curses and so hearing their own curses against them was making them a victim.

 

It was interesting though, how easy it was to kill everyone else but Kai. The man was moving like a cat - elegant and fast, so skilled and so perfect. The perfect murderer he was, that was until Baekhyun and Sehun - the closest man to Baekhyun - to surprise him. Kai hadn’t seen Sehun who was actually hiding for a while, he had gone to bring some drinks to the small chilling place they had and Kai had surprised them just then. No one had seen him or even if they did, Sehun had learned from Baekhyun to act fast.

 

Baekhyun felt some sick satisfaction to hear the way Kai’s knees cracked on the ground when Sehun pushed him down. Kai’s men had been dead for some time now, Baekhyun was left only with Sehun and another two, but Kai was alone. Sehun had taken the Japanese minds away and Baekhyun had taken the best out of it. So now Kai was on his knees in front of Baekhyun, the sun coming from the few broken windows was making Kai’s skin shine and his eyes brighter. Kai’s skin seemed healthy and his eyes were burning fires - the most favorite part for Baekhyun before he pushed the trigger and took their lives away.

 

“Did your boss send you?” Baekhyun asked, clearly knowing the answer. Baekhyun made sure he’d take the big boss’ attention some days ago when he took the life of his most favorite prostitute and two of his men uncalled for. Baekhyun expected the attack, however, he didn’t think the old man would send his most trustful man for Baekhyun’s head.

 

“Who else do you think told me where you are?” Honey, Kai’s voice sounded like honey and Baekhyun had to bite his tongue. Kai’s eyes were beautiful. Too beautiful for their own and fearless, Baekhyun noticed belatedly. Kai wasn’t scared of dying. He was waiting for it, anticipating it and honestly, Baekhyun could feel how his satisfaction of the act would be gone soon.

 

“I can shoot you right now and he’d know about your death months later,” Baekhyun spoke quietly, taking out his favorite gun, wiping it with his newest white cloth he had bought from a little girl around the corner. There was a rose in the middle of it, red rose. Red would suit Kai, Baekhyun thought.

 

“I can be helpful to you. You’re smart, you wouldn’t let your best chance away.”

 

Baekhyun stayed quiet then, looking at Kai. A man so prepared wouldn’t come to him like this and give him the chance. Using Kai could be the gold mine Baekhyun needed to help his own boss but it could also mean that it was a trap. Baekhyun turned to look at Sehun who simply shrugged back, for a fighter so strong as Sehun, he didn’t care much about these things.

 

“Give me one reason to believe you. This could be a trap and I’ve lost enough men by your hands,” Baekhyun took a chair and sat down on it in front of Kai.

 

“Hiro’s house has three openings that no one is keeping an eye on them. One is on the east side, a big tree is there. Old enough to fall if someone tries to climb it but it’s good enough to jump through with robes. The other one is when you’re coming from the woods, a few wild dogs shouldn’t stop you now, should they? And the last one and the easiest is the front door. Every morning at eight two boys come that bring milk and a courtesan for Hiro. One day it is a man and another one is a woman. Tomorrow he wants a boy, why don’t you give it a try, Byun?”

 

Kai seemed happy with himself and Baekhyun tried to see if he was lying. Usually, it was easy to notice it but for some reason, Baekhyun could see nothing from Kai. He was calm and collected, awfully in charge. Baekhyun didn’t like this. However, it wouldn’t hurt to try. He needed a way inside Hiro’s house and if Kai didn’t lie then it was the best opening for Baekhyun and his own boss.

 

“If tomorrow my man dies, you’re next,” Baekhyun spoke and stood up. “Tie him on the chair with the metal chains and make sure he wouldn’t be able to run away.”

 

“Are you sure about this?” Sehun asked Baekhyun when they were only a few steps away from Baekhyun.

 

“I don’t think we have much to lose. Our men died today, we have to go through their women and tell them they’re dead. If we’re lucky and he’s not lying, tomorrow we might tell them that we had taken revenge for their men. If not, we’d be dead too.”

 

“Who are you going to send there, then?” Sehun seemed worried, who wouldn’t. Baekhyun was nervous too.

 

“Myself, I’ll go myself and bring him some milk. I wouldn’t do anything, simply see if we can go in ourselves so easily.”

 

“And if he wants to fuck you, are you going to let him?” Sehun seemed angry. “He probably knows your face, don’t let something pretty blind you. You’re better than this.”

 

“And who should I send then?” Baekhyun hissed with more venom than he wished in his voice. Sehun was the only one who could speak against Baekhyun this way but it didn’t mean that he liked it. Sehun was supposed to listen to him.

 

“Send me. Barely anyone knows me and he likes them pretty, doesn’t he? I’m pretty, he’d like me,” Sehun sounded awfully confident and Baekhyun felt sick in his stomach. He could lose Sehun tomorrow and he’d be able to do nothing.

 

“I can’t do that and you know it,” Baekhyun shook his head and turned to see how his men did the job with the chains around Kai, who was still looking comfortable with them and awfully smug about the fact that he had betrayed his own blood, his uncle.

 

“You can and you will do it,” Sehun grabbed Baekhyun’s arm and pulled him closer. “You don’t own me, do you? You had the chance and you let me go. Now use me as the fighter you had taught me to be.”

 

With this Sehun turned around and walked away, he was doing this and for some reason, Baekhyun knew he couldn’t change his mind. Just then Baekhyun heard Kai’s chuckles coming from behind him and Baekhyun wished to cut Kai’s little pink tongue with his daggers.

 

“He’s a stubborn one, isn’t he?” Kai spoke between his chuckles. “I don’t think he’d come back without bruises. He’s Hiro’s type - tall and pretty, strong. Are you sure you can share him with the old man?”

 

“Are you sure you can shut your mouth without me cutting your tongue?”

 

Baekhyun’s patience was running thin and Kai was playing games with him enough to make his blood boil. A few times Baekhyun wondered why he was letting this man stay alive and he had no answer. It wasn't a love then. It wasn't a love when he let Kai go because Sehun came back home bruised and fucked but with information. It wasn't one even when Kai went back home but every night was coming back to Baekhyun with information and places.

 

The love probably came after the sex, one night when Baekhyun had been hurt and he had drunk too much soju to keep the pain dull while Sehun was taking care of his wound, Kai was there, willing and smiling and Baekhyun could only go for it. He realized that he loved how soft Kai’s skin was under his fingers, even his scars were soft and Baekhyun fell for it.

 

He also fell for the way Kai called his name as if he was owning him and his life, how sweet Kai’s words were when he praised Baekhyun. How gently he was kissing Baekhyun’s scars and how he was touching him as if Baekhyun could break when both knew it wasn’t possible. It was even heartwarming when Kai’s long legs were wrapped around Baekhyun’s waist and Kai was smiling at him and kissing him.

 

“You’re beautiful,” Kai had told him and Baekhyun never replied him back.

 

The more time he was spending with Kai, the more Baekhyun wanted more from him. Sometimes he wanted to have the man’s attention and other times he wanted simply the warmth and the sex that Kai was providing him. If Baekhyun was honest he'd say that Kai was already in love with him when Baekhyun was barely getting into it.

 

The more time he was spending with Kai, the more information he knew about the enemy but the more he got to know Kai as well. One time they had been walking late at night - no one should be able to see them alone, Kai had told him he was mad and Baekhyun had brushed the eye roll, given to him, aside. That night Kai's attention was taken away from a puppy playing with a bone it had found. Baekhyun was pretty sure it was a human's bone but Kai didn't care for details. He had jumped and played with the little pup.

 

Baekhyun knew he was falling then because Kai had the softest expression. There was something so innocent in the way Kai looked that it felt ridiculous with the way Kai was taking lives. It was as confusing as it was endearing and Baekhyun wasn't sure why this was making his heart beating faster. When Kai was done with the petting and sat down next to Baekhyun again, still having the loveliest smile and the brightest eyes, Baekhyun couldn't hold back and pulled Kai for a kiss and slowly pulled him closer and closer until he had a lapful of Kai.

 

They didn't speak about anything related to their gangs and the way they had to work against each other. They didn't speak about how much risk everything was holding and the worst was that while they stayed quiet, Baekhyun felt the need to lock Kai for himself and never let him go.

 

Eventually, they stopped meeting for business only and they were more about learning about each other and their bodies than anything else. Late dates and drinking nights were their own way of showing they cared for each other. Although neither of them told the other that they loved each other, their actions spoke more about it. The sex turned into gentle and sweet lovemaking with pointless sweet-talking and a lot of kisses. Baekhyun was feeling selfish so he was leaving bruises and bites over Kai's body. Kai was feeling possessive too in a way that his nails were leaving long angry lines over Baekhyun's body.

 

The funniest was that Baekhyun had never believed that he could be loyal to only one person. He believed a person had to have as many bodies as he wished but somehow now when he could call Kai his and proudly admit to himself that he had given his heart to Kai too, Baekhyun couldn't touch anybody else.

 

Sehun was giving him looks that Baekhyun could read only as anger but he couldn't speak to Sehun about it even if he wished. The problem came from the fact that Baekhyun and Sehun barely had the time to be around each other. Since Hiro had liked him, Sehun was called more often than not. The worry for Sehun was blinded by his feelings for Kai and Baekhyun had missed a few of the bruises that were growing on Sehun. If it was before Kai and the change if the heart, things would have been different.

 

The recklessness was growing with the feelings. The warmer Baekhyun's heart was growing, less of his duties Baekhyun was following. He missed his night hunts as his men were calling it when they fighting against the new street gangs. He was missing the regular visits of the courtesans' houses. He didn't care about the darkness surrounding him because he was embraced with the lightness. Was Baekhyun a bad man? He believed so for a really long time, however, Kai was showing him a side he didn't even know existed inside him.

 

Baekhyun learned how to be gentle and how to remember to live without his gun and daggers. Kai was cooking for him, taking care of him, letting him sleep in and wake him up with a lot of kisses and even more sweet talks about places he had visited. Baekhyun was getting used to the hopeful promises of visiting places far away from where they could have all the adventures they wished for.

 

“I wonder, how much are you willing to give for me?” Kai was playing with the back of Baekhyun's hair. The latter was lying over Kai, kissing his chest and his hands moving up and down on Kai's sides.

 

“Your life,” Baekhyun said quietly. “I'm willing to give your life for you.”

 

“It doesn't make sense,” Kai's voice had changed, it was confused but darker too. Probably he was realizing that this talk had a lot more meaning than a simple love talk in between the bliss of the intimacy they had been sharing for a whole night.

 

“It does,” Baekhyun moved away from Kai so that he could sit on Kai's legs and looked down at him. “One day we will come to a point where we have to make a choice and if I have to choose between letting someone else hurt you, I'll hurt you myself.”

 

“You're willing to kill me?” Kai's frown was enough to tell Baekhyun that he should shut up but he couldn't.

 

“I am.”

 

“Is this love for you?” Kai was furious now, it showed especially in the way he pushed Baekhyun away from him. He was rude, harsh and there was no gentleness in his actions. He wasn't gentle to his own clothes either.

 

“It's the best thing I can give you,” Baekhyun knew he was right. They weren't living in a happy place and they surely didn't have a fairy tale where they could run away and have their happy ending. The problem was that Baekhyun could see their end, Kai couldn't.

 

“The best thing would be if you tell me you'd make sure that we can stay together for as long as we can, not promising me how you're willing to take my life because that's the only way out!”

 

“I'd lie to you and you don't deserve lies,” Baekhyun replied as simply as he could and sat up on the bed, pulling his legs closer to his chest. Suddenly he was feeling vulnerable. For the months they were together by now, they had never argued.

 

“Maybe I wanted to be lied to.”

 

If Baekhyun wanted to be honest with himself and with Kai, the moment his lover of few months walked away from the bedroom and left Baekhyun alone, everything changed. It wasn’t that they stopped coming to each other, they did. They kissed and made love but Kai was guarded and Baekhyun was reluctant to approach the sensitive topic. Kai wanted something that Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he could give it to him or wanted to. The risk had always been big.

 

“If you’re not serious about this, why are you even here?” Sehun pushed Baekhyun away from the scene in front of him. They knew these men, Baekhyun knew them and he was sure that they were some of Kai’s men. And Baekhyun had blindly taken their lives.

 

“I am serious, what are you talking about?” Baekhyun pushed Sehun back because everyone’s eyes were on them and Baekhyun kept a pride about his position. Sehun could have been angry with him but both knew there were right places and the right time to speak about this.

 

“You don’t even try to take information, neither are you securing our positions in the quarter. Do you know how many Japanese dogs are looking around for their preys and go back home to report to your boy.”

 

“Sehun, keep your mouth shut or you will regret it!” Baekhyun hated going against Sehun, considering how much time he had spent with this man, Sehun had turned to be Baekhyun’s air and sanity at some point. But now, this air was suffocating him and his sanity was leaving him.

 

“I can’t have what else to regret now, do I?” Sehun screamed into his face and grabbed Baekhyun’s neck and pushed him against the wall. Showing his power and strength over Baekhyun was the worst way to go and Baekhyun was ready to turn the action back. However, he was stopped when Sehun leaned down and hissed in his ear. “You had done a promise to protect me, hadn’t you? Tell me how many scars you can count on my body? How can you return the lives I’ve taken because of one insane man who’s seeking for power? But most from all, are you going to return this to me?”

 

And for the first time in months, Baekhyun looked at Sehun. His face was scared - it wasn’t before -, his pinkie was taken away on his right hand and his ring finger on the left hand. They were gone, cut off, wrapped in bloody bandage and Sehun, Baekhyun realized, looked like a man who had seen death in the eyes and came back only to haunt Baekhyun back.

 

“You promised me that I’d never end like my father, with no limbs and no tongue,” Sehun took out his tongue and Baekhyun felt sick when he saw the small line across Sehun’s tongue. There had been a knife there, a sharp one, almost taking the thing Sehun wanted to keep. “You promised and you broke it.”

 

“Sehun…”

 

“No, don’t say anything. The pinkie was taken from Hiro because he disliked the way I took Chanyeol’s life. The ring finger was taken from Kai because he wanted to keep you for himself and to prove his loyalty to his cousin. The tongue, the tongue was almost taken away by our boss when he realized I had Hiro’s tattoo on my back because I’m now Hiro’s and I always come back.”

 

“Don’t say it, please…” Baekhyun felt his knees to weaken, his heart to be shattered but most from all he felt suffocated because he couldn’t see the fondness that Sehun kept for him all these years, he couldn’t see the familiarity both of them shared.

 

“I’ve always been coming back because of you because I promised I’d never let you be alone and I’m always going to be your sanity and reason to live. Now, I don’t see a reason to come back. You’re not the same, but most importantly, I’m not the same either,” Sehun leaned down to kiss Baekhyun’s lips, a small peck and moved away. Further and further away from Baekhyun. “Clean this mess, Byun, and never look for me again.”

 

True to his words, Sehun had never come back. Instead of him, Kai turned out to be a lot more permanent spot in his life. Baekhyun couldn’t explain it but his affections towards Kai was growing just as fast as their small fights. Kai didn’t trust Sehun and Baekhyun trusted Sehun too much. Sehun was one of the main reasons why they kept on fighting. Baekhyun could look at Kai for hours and find spots and places on his being that Baekhyun could tell that he loved them. For example, Kai’s eyes, his eyebrows, his full lips, and his nose and his scars and so on, Baekhyun could name it all.

 

The worst was that he could also name the way Baekhyun could kill Kai. He could end him nicely with one bullet and everything could be over. He could be a little sadistic and use some of his favorite daggers. If he wanted to make Kai scream, he was going to break his bones and do small awful cuts so that Kai could feel the pain while his blood was leaking out prettily.

 

The worst from all was that the more time Baekhyun spent with Kai - small picnics outside of town because no one should see them -, Baekhyun could see easily how close their end was coming. Baekhyun hated to admit but Sehun was right. Breaking the promise he had given to him was broken once, but this didn’t mean that Baekhyun’s other promises lasted. None of them did. Baekhyun stopped checking out the families he had kept alive and strong, he forgot, he also forgot to tell his men to keep an eye on them. Daughters, Baekhyun promised to keep alive and unharmed, were taken. Sons, that Baekhyun promised to keep further from the gunshots, were now outside on the battlefield - dying.

 

No one told him about it, though. They couldn’t. Baekhyun, no Byun, the second strongest man and the most trustful man by his boss’ side was nowhere to be seen. The Yakuza was coming their way and Baekhyun was in his bedroom with Kai - loving him and caring for him. When the Yakuza was taking Korean children away, Baekhyun was outside, on a picnic or into some pub drinking his love away. Byun was a name no one thought of as a threat and Baekhyun was blinded by love to see how many things were slipping away from him.

 

If Baekhyun took a little time to think, he could even realize that the love he was so blinded to keep alive wasn’t even the type of a love that he’d wish to live with for longer. He couldn’t see how toxic it was, how unhealthy and how bad it was for him. Baekhyun wasn’t a man who’d come out and say that he was the perfect man but he was also a person who could make others stronger and now, now he wasn’t doing it.

 

The further Baekhyun was going away from his men and his boss and his life, while he was trying to keep Kai, he couldn’t see how Kai was going closer and closer to the madness Sehun had mentioned. Trusting the enemy could never mean a happy ending. There could have been exceptions, however now Kai wasn’t the one. His love could have been real and strong but he wasn’t staying on the side too.

 

When he wasn’t around Baekhyun, which admittedly was rare the more time passed, he was following the orders of his own boss and his voice was louder than anyone when he was giving the orders. In fact, he was the face Baekhyun’s men were seeing last but since their breaths were taken away, they couldn’t have told Baekhyun anything. The funniest thing was that Baekhyun wouldn’t call himself naive, however, he might have been so.

 

His awakening came when he saw Sehun’s dead body. The fact that Sehun was gone was what brought Baekhyun back to the reality he was living into. The corpse in front of him, the Sehun he was seeing wasn’t the man Baekhyun grew up with. He was weaker, thinner, too much taken away from him - even his life. And Baekhyun couldn’t believe that the small kid he had promised to keep alive with his own life was now gone before Baekhyun could do anything. Before Baekhyun realized that he could do something that he must do something.

 

His men stood quietly by his side, they had looked for him, unsurprised when they saw Kai opening Baekhyun’s door for them. They had wished to speak with Baekhyun in private, to tell him to be prepared for the sight he was going to see but since Kai denied to leave and Baekhyun didn’t want him gone either, his men had to bring him to the place where Sehun’s body was found without saying a word. Baekhyun wasn’t ready to listen earlier and now he couldn’t even if he wanted to.

 

Sehun was murdered, this was obvious. He could see the yakuza marks on Sehun’s body, he could see the additional old bruises and Baekhyun knew that he had to do something. If he was here and he had seen Sehun, he was pretty sure his boss was here too. Before him and before Baekhyun’s men came to look for him. Slowly, Baekhyun looked away from his friend and turned to look at his men. Most didn’t look him in the eyes, it was something acceptable. Baekhyun was looked like a traitor in a way. A traitor that could repay for his sins and do something right.

 

“Let’s go to the boss,” Baekhyun spoke up and started to leave, it was so painful to leave Sehun behind in this state.

 

“I’m sorry, hyung, you have to do this alone,” One of the men, the younger ones who same as Sehun had grown in front of Baekhyun’s eyes spoke up and Baekhyun nodded. If one’s head was going to be cut, it had to be his own alone.

 

“I understand. Take care of his body, he deserves a lot more than life and I had given him.”

 

Baekhyun walked away and didn’t turn around to look back. He couldn’t look back, he believed that he didn’t have the right to do so. With every step further away from Sehun, every step closer to all the people he had promised to protect but failed, the more looks of betrayal and disappointment came his way, the more Baekhyun’s walls were weakening and the first tears started to fall.

 

He never cried so openly, he couldn’t allow himself the weakness but he couldn’t help it. Not when his best friend was gone, not when his men were by his side but didn’t look at him and didn’t try to get closer to him, not when he walked in the shadows for hopes that no stone would be thrown his way. Baekhyun had done mistakes and he was a sinner with hands tainted in blood but his biggest sin was for letting go of everything in order to be blinded by the emotion that he called love.

 

When he walked into the building where his boss was usually resting, he didn’t miss how many of the men, who he laughed with, were now holding their guns a little closer and their eyes were following his every move. Baekhyun was an enemy too. He was grateful that they still let him knock on the door and walk in.

 

“Hello, Baekhyun.”

 

Han-du, Baekhyun’s boss, the man who Baekhyun admired for years and he still did, looked older for his age and tired, exhausted. Baekhyun was scared of the answer why a man so strong and so powerful, was looking as if a hurricane passed through him. Baekhyun took a few more steps getting closer to his boss, to the man who had given him the chance to keep his life and have a roof over his head.

 

“Have you seen Sehun?” Baekhyun nodded and fell on his knees, leaning down, his palms on the ground and his head next to them. He knew he needed to bow as deep as he could, ask for forgiveness he didn’t deserve. “He was a good kid, strong and he could have been a good leader, a good father, a good person. However, he’s dead. Do you know how many more are gone and forgotten, Baekhyun?” he shook his head. “Of course, you don’t. You were living in your dream of happiness and love, weren’t you?”

 

“Please, forgive me. I promise I will do better!” Baekhyun begged because he was hopeful that he’d do better. He knew he could. He knew he wanted to. After all, he believed he could talk to Kai and they could figure it out. They had to, if they wanted to be together and Baekhyun was hopeful, he wanted to be.

 

“Do you know who took the life of your oldest friend?” Baekhyun shook his head. “Kai, it was Kai. We saw his dagger in Sehun’s thigh and in fact, he was the one who showed us the way to him. Kai also left a message that if we didn’t want to end up as the poor kid, we have to stop messing with the yakuza because they know. Hiro knows too.”

 

“He was with me all the time these days, it’s not him. I’m sure of it, he wouldn’t hurt Sehun. He knows how much Sehun meant to me,” Baekhyun couldn’t believe this. He couldn’t let Han-du mess up with him too.

 

“He also could see how much Sehun loved you and the jealousy can blind even the nicest man.” Han-du sighed then. “Have you kept a track on Kai while you were asleep? How do you know what he did once you closed your eyes? You know better than anyone that a murderer can sleep even for a minutes before he’s ready to go. We did this, Baekhyun, we did this together. You know better than this.”

 

At that moment Baekhyun realized he couldn’t deny it. He had never let Sehun close, not since he met Kai and even before that, but the closeness must have been evident. The emotions and the feelings shared before. Kai wasn’t blind if anything he could pick on the smallest details and he had never hidden his dislike and distrust towards Sehun. Baekhyun was only blind to see it or even if he saw it, he had tried to deny it. Too hopeful.

 

It was easy for Kai to let Baekhyun fell asleep, wait for him and then leave. When he’s done with his job to come back and fell asleep next to Baekhyun. The latter would never know. He could never know because Kai loved the details and he was making sure everything to be perfect. Perfect from his clothes to his sex and to his murderer, Kai was a perfectionist and Baekhyun had to know better indeed.

 

“What can I do to prove my loyalty?” Baekhyun knew he had to ask and do something. He knew his time was shorter now, especially when his relationship with Kai was no secret. If he wanted to stay alive, he had to ask and know.

 

“How much are you willing to sacrifice?” Han-du asked and Baekhyun’s breath hitched.

 

“My own life, I’m willing to give you my life.”

 

“We both know I need something more than this, Byun.”

 

And Baekhyun finally looked up, he could see the fire and the rage in his boss’ eyes. He could see the dark feelings of hate and distaste and Baekhyun knew that one time when he told Kai the truth, it was indeed the truth. Sometimes Baekhyun believed when the time came he’d choose Kai above everything, even his own life, even his own hatred. But a betrayal was holding a deep meaning and Baekhyun wasn’t living in a place or in a life where he couldn’t follow its laws. Slowly, he stood up, carefully he looked at his boss, quietly he took a deep breath and made his decision.

 

“Tell me your orders,” Baekhyun spoke up, loud and clear, making sure that anyone hiding in the shadow would hear him, would know he did share his blood with these men, a cut that was still a scar on his right palm.

 

“We attack early in the morning, make sure you sharpen your knife, Baekhyun. One wrong move and your head might follow theirs. I might love you as my own blood brother, but it doesn’t mean I cannot share your life with the others who had betrayed me.”

 

“I’ll sharpen them to the point of bleeding steel, boss.”

 

Baekhyun walked back home, meeting the eyes of the people who could recognize him, the people he might have hurt after he had helped them and in the end, Baekhyun went home. Drained and empty, he saw Kai on his bed, loose shirt and eating fruits that some people their age could only dream of and he moved closer to him. Baekhyun let Kai kiss him and love him. He let him touch and bite and mark because he knew he’d never feel something like this again.

 

Kai didn’t ask. He was usually curious and he wanted to know, Baekhyun was speaking on his own but now they didn’t speak. They only acted. They made love for the last time, both of them equally dedicated to one another. Both of them touching the other as if they’d break and if Baekhyun let a few tears to fall, no one mentioned it. Kai was there to kiss them away and whisper how much he loved Baekhyun, how strong he was and Baekhyun had kissed Kai to shut him up. A kiss could do miracles, now it was only desperate act before a breakdown.

 

In the morning both of them woke up at the same time, both looking at everything else but themselves. Baekhyun took out his best clothes, if he was going into a bloodbath that he might not leave alive, he preferred at least to go in hell looking decently. Kai took the simple clothes he had left at Baekhyun’s place but he took his own daggers and guns, Baekhyun wondered what other toys he was going to bring with him to their meeting later. He realized he didn’t want to know.

 

Once they were ready, looking tired and maybe a little scared, both walked towards the front door. Kai was first, he put his hand on the handle and they heard the click before the door opened with a crack. Kai turned around to look at Baekhyun, giving him a small gentle smile and leaning down to give him a kiss.

 

“I won’t let them hurt you,” Kai promised. “You’ll walk out of it alive, this is my promise to you. I love you.”

 

Kai left before Baekhyun could tell him anything and for this, Baekhyun was grateful. There were only a few more things Baekhyun could tell Kai without breaking the trust Kai might have towards him and Baekhyun couldn’t do it now. It didn’t feel right and it clearly didn’t feel like something he’d be forgiven. He wasn’t sure if he could trust Kai because the words could mean a lot of things. Baekhyun’s life was only in Baekhyun’s hands. If he wished to die, he’d die. If he wanted to live, he’d live.

 

Baekhyun quietly walked out too and closed the door behind him. He didn’t bother to lock it. Tonight he might not be coming back home and he didn’t mind if someone else took his place. After all, what a dead man needed, nothing but a ground to be buried into.

 

On his walk towards the yakuza mansion, Baekhyun wondered if the emotions of seeing its walls and the amount of gold that had gone for it had made Sehun feel weak in the knees as Baekhyun was feeling right now. So much money and so much power were standing in front of him and for a moment Baekhyun wondered how he could allow Sehun to step in. A second later Baekhyun realized he’d been a coward and wouldn’t walk in, but Sehun was strong enough to walk one time in and many more later. Baekhyun couldn’t do it.

 

Han-du was sure of his own plan and he had made sure to make everyone else remember the said plan. They had to be careful, many eyes were on them and this wasn’t their land, they couldn’t be careless. Baekhyun hoped that at least someone would walk out of the mansion alive. Han-du knew his deal and Baekhyun was sure that his boss could walk a long way ahead once he walked out of this battle alive.

 

The first steps were the hardest, Baekhyun realized that he had forgotten what it was to take someone’s life. He got reminded of it very early. Two of his men died before they reached the main quarters and a lot more of them were left behind to keep their backs and hope to survive. Baekhyun could hear their screams and the curses, they had the spirit to fight. Baekhyun would pray for them if he ever did. Now, he was moving closer to the man he had to murder and the one they had to take down. Hiro and Kai were waiting for them.

 

Han-du went for Hiro and Baekhyun had left with his men by his side to fight the others coming their way. Baekhyun didn’t miss how none of the men running into his knives and guns were trying hard to hurt him or break him. They were simply attacking, taking everything he was ready to give them before taking their lives. Kai had kept his promise in the end, he was going to make sure Baekhyun would walk out of this alive.

 

Kai probably hoped for the same. It was only unfortunate that Baekhyun didn’t have a gentle heart and light soul.

 

With every step closer to his lover, the more Baekhyun realized how easy it was to turn around and walk away. How easy it could have been to turn his back to his pride and his promise and his clan of men and his boss, only to be with Kai. Then Sehun’s body showed in front of his eyes and Baekhyun kept going ahead instead of running away. Baekhyun decided that he should be merciless - as he had been with Sehun, as he had been with men before Kai, as he had always been.

 

The first hit Kai took brought confusion, the second was the betrayal and the last was Kai’s realization that he had to fight. Baekhyun didn’t let him fight. One thing that Baekhyun had learned was that Kai relied too much on his emotions and his love for Baekhyun was his weakness. Baekhyun attacked there. He didn’t run away from Kai’s attacks, every new cut Kai left, the weaker Kai was getting. His eyes were wider and looking at Baekhyun, worrying for him even when Baekhyun was hurting him.

 

If Kai tried to keep his cuts lighter, Baekhyun was going for meat and bones. The amount of blood that was coming of Kai who had fewer cuts was double than the one coming from Baekhyun who seemed cut all over. The final decision was taken when Kai’s legs couldn’t hold him anymore and he simply fell down on his knees. He looked up and Baekhyun, holding his sword up, trying to cut deep, to hurt because Baekhyun was hurting him and Kai had never asked for this. But Baekhyun simply walked into the sword, on his own, right in the middle of his stomach, holding Kai’s hand in his to keep the sword alined. This was going to be their end, but first Baekhyun had to finish Kai.

 

“I loved you with everything I had,” Kai spoke weakly, blood coming out of his mouth, his eyes were unfocused and almost dead.

 

“I loved you dearly too, Jongin.”

 

Baekhyun attacked when Kai chuckled. His own sword, taken from one of the yakuza men coming at him earlier, ran right in the middle of Kai’s throat and painting Baekhyun in blood. Kai fell down with the sword and Baekhyun shakily stood up, taking Kai’s sword out of his own body and turned to see where Han-du was. He saw his boss on his knees too, with just as many wounds as Baekhyun but right in front of him was a bloodied head, the head of the yakuza leader.

 

“Boss...Han-du?” Baekhyun took unsteady steps toward his boss. They were the only ones alive, they had to move now, or the Yakuza would take them too. No one would know how much they had won right now. Han-du looked up at Baekhyun, weak smile on his face and eyes full of tears.

 

“Is it worthy, Baekhyun?” Han-du asked and Baekhyun nodded. It was. At least for now, at this age, it was.

 

“Let’s get us home, take the head. It’s going to be our only way out.”

 

Han-du took it and let Baekhyun help him up. They had too many wounds and too many steps to take, but they had to do it. Han-du was going to make a history and now when Baekhyun had nothing left, he wanted to see it happening. And so they walked ahead. They walked through the golden walls and between the yakuza. They were unharmed, no one tried to touch the men who were holding each other and the head of their late leader. With every step ahead towards the place Baekhyun would still call home, the easier it was to breathe.

 

“Taking his life was the best decision and you know this,” Han-du spoke when they were further enough from the yakuza mansion but still too further away from home.

 

“I know,” Baekhyun said quietly.

 

“Sehun deserved the revenge.”

 

“He deserved to live and to be loved. Kai deserved the same. It was simply unfortunate that they couldn’t have this now and they couldn’t have it given to them by me.”

 

“Then tell their story to the people. Tell my story too, Baekhyun. Live for both of them and me, tell everyone our story.”

 

Baekhyun looked at Han-du. He got reminded of why he started to follow this man, why he was ready to die for him once and he remembered it was because he could see the light coming with everything Han-du was doing. It could be cruel to watch or to be part of, but Baekhyun believed it could bring light and happiness for the people coming after them.

 

Baekhyun couldn’t live to see it, in the end, he died before Han-du. But when he died, he died like a man ready to protect his leader, taking the bullet for him. It was slightly ironic that the bullet passed through his heart, but Baekhyun didn’t feel pain. He felt nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> the wiki articles I used as references are [this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gim_Du-han) and [this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kkangpae#1910%E2%80%931945:_Colonial_era)


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